Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Self-love and Karma

So it's the last day of the month and I feel amazing. I started this journey of self-love so long ago and now I'm really seeing results. I realize that manifesting the life you want to live is not just about having the bomb vision board, or praying and meditating every 5 minutes- though these things help the process; manifesting is also about self-love and karma. I know that my karma has dealt me a certain hand, and that's cool, I'll play it to the best of my ability. I will put out good energy and be the best person I can be so as to not create any additional yuckiness that I have to confront. As a scientist, this makes perfect sense to me. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every drop of energy I put out into the universe, there is an equal and opposite force coming my way. My goal is to put out positivity and take full responsibility for the other stuff that has resulted from my previous actions.

Now for this self-love thing. It's all very new to me. I mean, I've not loved myself as much as I loved my partners, my jobs, my degrees, etc. This month, I have really concentrated on living the mantra, "I love myself too much..." . Anything action that does not fit into my mantra is against protocol, which is to take care of myself before taking care of others. In an effort to get to this place of self-love, I created the protocol to train myself to take better care of me. I mean, I'm great at taking care of others, but taking care of me has always been an after-thought. Not anymore! Today, I speak my truth, I speak love (for myself and for others) and my experience has been magical. I'll save the details for a later post, but I have never in my life felt this loved, connected, and appreciated. Andy Anderson's "Love Myself" is coming to mind :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


My vision for my life includes an awesome amount of loving, nurturing self-care. In honor of this vision, I got a mani/pedi this week, and a faaaaaaabulous massage. This is the type of care I would like to include in my daily life. From long baths to short naps, from deep tissue massages to trips to the spa, I envision a life that includes it all. The weird little thing that comes up is feeling a bit unworthy of this type of care. So this week, I will continue to meditate on my self-worth. Also, I will increase the actions of self-care that I want in my everyday life. 

Monday, August 9, 2010


God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good. :)

In my last post, I put out there that I would be contemplating the issue of self-worth that often arises in me (especially during times of separation from my partner). I didn't know where to turn, but give thanks that I am a Master Manifester! This week, Spirit lead me to an audio recording of Marianne Williamson teaching on the topic of romantic relationships as taught in the Course in Miracles. Ok, wow! It has been such an amazing gift. I'm understanding both my need to BE fully loving in the world and my ego's need for a special relationship which prevents me from BEING fully in the world. I am learning that my feeling of aloneness has more to do with feeling separate from God than it does with feeling separate from her. I am surrendering to this knowledge and welcoming more lessons. This week, I will continue on this path. There is a lot to learn here.

Update on thesis and money: 
So, shifting my consciousness resulted in some powerful shifts in my life last week. First, I was able to work this weekend and I made about $300 for two days work. I am so grateful to have been scheduled and to have made money two nights in a row! This is exactly the direction I wanted to go in, and I did! Secondly, I have added two more interviews to my thesis- only 3 more to go. I am so excited because, wow, completion is right around the corner. Graduation will actually happen. Soon! :) Finally, I applied for a few jobs and updated my resume/coverletter. I liked all the jobs I applied for and I think they will be a great fit for me. I'm so glad to have chosen a field that I enjoy soooo much!

This week, I will continue to apply for jobs and spend some time being excited about my chosen field. I will look for organizations to join and/or support and seek new contacts in the community. 


Wednesday, August 4, 2010


"Are you ready to be wealthy? Do you know what genuine wealth is? Understand that wealth is a state of consciousness, and expanded awareness of having. When you have the right understanding of who and what you are, you recognize that you already have all that you need."

-Michael Bernard Beckwith

"A right understanding of who and what you are..." Do I have this understanding? Well, I know that I am many things: I am love; I am infinite; I am perfect; I am all that I am, and that is good. But what else do I believe that I am? Hmmm. I had a conversation with a friend today about feeling that I do not deserve love, that I am not enough, that I am not a good person. This is not the dominant belief I have about myself; but this feeling of inadequacy raises its lil head every now and again, especially when my gf and I are far apart (emotionally or physically). So, as I continue this first week of transformation, I am going to work gaining this "right understanding of who and what" I am. Tonight, I will start with some meditation and prayer. Tomorrow, I'll seek out some reading on the subject. Through it all, I will seek the counsel of healers, friends, and elders. This should be fun!! I hold the vision of an "expanded awareness of having." Now I'm off to do my work, starting right here with me! Give thanks! And so it is!! 

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Manifestation Project

I know the power using the left brain in the process of manifesting whatcha want. In this spirit, I created a tumblr account of just the photos, images, videos, and quotes that invoke the tingly, happy feelings I associate with fully living inside the life I plan and deserve.

Manifesting: Social Life

Last night I went out with two friends. We had margarita's, beers, and tacos! We walked around East Atlanta and went to Krystal's for a late night drunk snack. That is exactly the type of social life I want to cultivate. I would like to live somewhere that I allows me to walk to fun bars and restaurants with sweet friends. I also want my house to be the perfect spot for both large and small gatherings of friends.

So, today, I give thanks for the social life that I have now. I am so grateful to live near a city where I can walk restaurants (that have $1 tacos and $2.50 beer), bars, and fastfood joints. I add to my e vision board/blog with appreciation of what I have and a commitment to my future dreams.

Outdoor living spaces from the HGTV Dream Homes 2009 and 2010. 

Rooftop pool at San Diego Hard Rock

Christopher J. Grubb, Interior Designer, Arch-Interiors Design Group Inc

Andreas Charalambous, Principal Architect, FORMA Design, Inc

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Law of Attraction

Yay! My first blog post!!! (smiles)

Here's the T ("What's the T?"): I'm committed to creating the life I want to live. In my 20's, I did the hard work of transforming into the type of person I wanted to be. Now, I love fiercely, I take good care of myself, I ask the hard questions, and I am not afraid to surrender to that which is greater than me. Internally, I am super fresh! I'm courageous, sweet, sensitive, patient, and kind. I've grown to know (and I'm still learning to know) love outside of ego and to know myself outside of expectation. I am still growing, and definitely still learning, but I'm ok this process. When I find myself fearful, shy, doubtful of my abilities, or nervous about my future, I am able to tap into my internal and external resources to pull through the murkiness into the light. Yeah. It was not [is not] an easy process... but I made it to the other side. Give thanks!!!!!

Now that I am in my 30s, I am ready to transform the rest of my life; I deserve it! I am willing to submit to this process. I stand in the knowing that on the other side of my external work will be the house, job, education, money, friends, and relationship reflecting the abundance of the universe and love of God in my life. Yippee!!!

I know this process will take me deeper into myself; I will probably happen upon a few dank, musty, stale places within me where I do not believe I deserve the very best the world has to offer. That's ok! I'm ready! I believe in myself. I believe I can do it and I'm so excited to document my process in this blog. (Yes!!!!) Here, I will post my greatest and biggest dreams. I will construct my life from the ground up. This will be my vision board. This is where I will put pictures of the things I dream about- a fabulous house, yard, vacation home, car, boat. This is where I will describe my ideal relationships- my loving friends, supportive sexy passionate (about life and about me) partner, accepting family, cool coworkers, fabulous colleagues, supportive mentors. Also, this is where I will openly explore and heal the parts of myself that block these blessings. I will work through these blockages offline (not here) with the numerous resources I have at my disposal. But I will detail my successes, my triumphs, and transformations right here on this blog. These celebrations belong here because I dream of a life where I triumph life's challenges with joy and grace. I challenge myself to do that right here, right now. 

Wow! I am so so so so so so excited. Let's get started!

Ummmm...I guess let's start by setting a few goals for the week. Let's start with the vision: sooooo, this week, I will hold the vision of myself with a Master's degree from one of this country's best schools. I see myself holding the degree in my hands with a big, proud smile. I envision myself with a complete thesis, defended successfully and submitted for publication. Whew! Ok, now I feel a bit of resistance here. To counter the fear that is bubbling up, I am going to set small manageable goals and celebrate my progress. So, I have already been accepted into one of the top 10 programs in the nation (YAY!). I've already completed all my coursework with a 3.9 GPA while maintaining a home and a relationship (YAY!). I've already written a significant portion of my thesis (YAY!). And, I'm super smart (YAY!). So now, let's set a goal for the week. This week, I will collect data for at least two days. I will make the edits my chair suggested. Finally, apply for at least one job per day where I potential employers that I will have a degree in December. At the end of the week, I will celebrate my success with friends who will be really excited about my progress! Yeah!

Me and my degree (sans the heals!)

The other goal is to have money and to be totally in control of my debit until it is so manageable that I enjoy paying bills. I know that money flows to me with ease and I willingly accept it into my life as a reflection of my self-worth. This is my vision. This week, I will joyfully answer my phone for all bill collectors. I will speak the truth to them. I will tell them of my current financial state and make reasonable, smart payment plans. I will research my options and make the best decisions for my future financial goals. YAY! AND I just spoke with a bill collector about a debt from 2006. It was a pleasant conversation and I look forward to taking care of the bill. YAY!!!!!!!! I'm happy that I was able to speak to that young man, and to know where I stand with this company. Go me!

Vision of Living Debt Free